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Jan. 28th, 2009

Log Title: Holding Pieces of Dieing Ember
Location: Corridors
Characters Involved: Blake Parker (youllbeokay) and anyone else who wants to join.
Summary of Log: Blake can't sleep... again.
Rating: PG

A bunch of things were all adding up together to make Blake Parker frustrated. He was in a phase where school work seemed unimportant. He had no idea where that attitude had come from though. This was his last year in Hogwarts, this was the year that mattered, and yet he couldn't force himself to concentrate on his homework (or any other thing to do with school) for more than half an hour at a time. It was annoying to say the least, especially when he didn't even have a decent enough reason for being so distracted. Or any reason in the first place. He almost wanted to start skipping classes again. He had done a couple of times already, though it wasn't exactly the same as before - This time he was getting told off for it. By either Tad or some teacher. More so Tad. Tad wasn't happy with the spontaneous class skippings at all.

He was moody for no reason. Blake kept snapping at people, be it a teacher, some randomer, or even one of his best friends. Most recently Jack. He had blamed Jack because he had got drunk a couple of nights before. Yeah, blaming Jack was the best idea... Far from it actually. Blake still had no idea why he'd been so stupid to say that. It wasn't exactly Jack's fault that Blake couldn't resist guzzling down alcohol. He didn't half do some idiotic things, sometimes.

And he was craving attention. Not in the cuddles sort of way, he wanted so much more. Half a year and counting. Half a year without sex. Nearly a year since meaningful sex. The more that Blake thought about it, the more he craved it. He couldn't bring it up with Mags though. Definitely not now. It was possible that they could have already passed that stage, had she not been pregnant. It was driving him insane. Every 'what if' scenario was taunting him. If Jack hadn't stepped in, if the Death Eaters hadn't kidnapped him... He wanted to go so much further with Mags, yet it was almost as if he wasn't allowed to. Even a joke about it would upset Mags or anger her...

He always seemed to think up these what if situations whenever he was trying to sleep. And the answers always plagued him, and kept him awake. It was no different tonight. Blake Parker just could not sleep, so he had just been wandering corridors for a while, all well knowing the risk that he'd get a detention for being out after hours. But he didn't care. Someone to talk to at least would have been nice, however it was questionable whether anybody was actually going to be awake or not. Most people tended to be in bed by now.

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( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
jubliantrise
Jan. 31st, 2009 05:20 am (UTC)
Lanisa had burrowed herself in the library, trying to place the finishing touches on her transfiguration essay. With more than half the school year gone already, the pressure of NEWTs was rising and the presence of exams was looming near. Today was her busiest day out of the week, and she hadn’t been out of class till past five… only to catch a quick bit to eat and spend a bit of time with Tad before he scurried off to another Prefect meeting. She had since retired to do some schoolwork, only to catch a glimpse of her watch now and realizing that she had been sitting at this table for hours… and it was well past curfew.

Packing up her things, she quickly slipped out of the library making sure at the same time that she wasn’t seen by Madam Pince, who would throw a fit of rage if she saw any student still lingering around at this time of night. Fortunately the Hufflepuff common room wasn’t too far away from here, so it minimized the chances of her running into anyone who could issue a detention to her, and- was that Blake coming up?

“Blake?” she called out tentatively, approaching her friend. “What are you doing out this late? You know Filch gives a week’s worth of detentions for loitering after hours…” She gave her friend a very disapproving look that was oddly matriarchal at the same time.
youllbeokay
Jan. 31st, 2009 12:48 pm (UTC)
The moment Blake saw a figure ahead of him, he froze. He hadn't exactly thought ahead of this little venture outside the common room, which meant he had no suitable explanation for what he was doing out of bed after hours. Running would only get him even more detentions if he got caught. 'I couldn't sleep' never usually went down well with anybody, so...

It was a good thing when the person in front of him turned out to be Lanisa. He would have been screwed had it happened to be a teacher or Filch patrolling the corridors... He stared at her for a moment after she spoke, apparently a little shocked that Lanisa was actually telling him off. It shouldn't have been a surprise though, she tended to be pretty motherly at times.

Out of his trance, he finally managed to push out a few words. "Hey Chick..." Blake answered, a smile finally growing on his face. "I could say the same to you, though. Why are you out so late anyway?"
jubliantrise
Feb. 2nd, 2009 03:02 am (UTC)
Lanisa blinked when she realized that her question was being answered by another question. “Well I was in the library working on an essay and I just lost track of time,” she began nonchalantly. “I was hoping to get back to my common room quickly before anyone else saw me, I don’t fancy another detention with Filch, last time he had me in he made me wa- hey! Wait a sec, don’t deviate me from what we were talking about- what are you Blake Parker, doing out here?! Hmm? And don’t use the library as an excuse because that’s where I’m coming from and you were not, for the life of me, in there doing work!”

She didn’t look very angry though, as she was more concerned with her friend’s well being. It was hard to avoid the bickering that Blake and Mags engaged in over the network, and it was simultaneously unavoidable to notice the full-fledged arguments that would often erupt between the two. “Everything going okay with Mags?” she asked him, apparently having forgotten that she had been giving him a scolding ten seconds ago. “I saw her earlier today in the Great Hall… she didn’t look very happy.”

Lanisa wasn’t one to normally meddle into other people’s affairs, but she knew that her friends, whether they were all male or not, needed someone to confide in from time to time. Tad and her had each other for that at least, but who did Blake or Jack, for that matter, turn to? Sure, they could talk to each other, but Lanisa had a feeling that not much ever went down between the two friends apart from general banter and drinks. Jack was another strange specimen… she had tried to talk to him seriously after he and Mags had broken up, but he had insisted he was fine with the whole thing and had carried on as normally as possible. Lanisa still had the feeling that Jack’s carefree attitude was underlining something else…
youllbeokay
Feb. 2nd, 2009 12:36 pm (UTC)
The smile kept itself on Blake’s face, as Lanisa was so easily distracted from telling him off moments before. This would have been a good moment to think up an excuse for why he was out so late, however he was way too amused at how easily he had taken the attention off him. It didn’t last as long as he thought it would though, seeing as Lanisa had returned to her scolding. Eek. “I uh…” Blake began, looking down and scuffing his shoe against the floor as if he was a small child attempting a way out of getting in trouble. “I just couldn’t sleep.” He looked up again. “Not a fantastic excuse, but hey, it’s truth.”

The quick conversation switch to Mags caught him off guard a little. “Um… yeah.” Blake answered, though seemingly a little unsure about the whole situation. “I mean we’re good at the moment… Just a matter of time before our next argument, I guess.” He finished with an awkward laugh. Blake had been thinking a lot about his relationship with Mags lately. As much as he wanted to show that he was going to be there supporting her through everything, he couldn’t ignore the facts, no matter how hard he tried – his girlfriend was carrying another person’s child. It hurt, but he couldn’t admit that. Really, who could he talk to? The only other person who actually knew about Mags’ pregnancy was Ruby, and Blake wasn’t exactly close to her… and what was to say she wouldn’t pass whatever he would say onto Mags? And Mags… No, he wasn’t going to upset her any more. He couldn’t do that. Blake needed somebody to talk to… but the fact of the matter was that he couldn’t. Nobody else needed to know anything. It wasn’t his place to tell people, so he had to deal with it on his own. After his long pause, he looked back towards Lanisa. “Our relationship is different, to say the least. But I make her happy… I think. And as long as she’s happy, well I am too.”

It was all very well saying that, but seeing as Lanisa had just mentioned that she had already seen Mags unhappy today, then their relationship obviously didn’t seem to give off a good air. This was awkward, beyond all reason. A conversation change wouldn’t be so bad. “What about you and Tad?” Blake asked, brightening up a little. “I mean he doesn’t exactly say much, so…”
jubliantrise
Feb. 2nd, 2009 01:15 pm (UTC)
Lanisa looked as though she wanted to say more on the matter of Blake and Mags, but refrained herself at the last second. If her friend didn’t want to go into detail about his relationship problems, then she certainly wasn’t going to beat it out of him – as much as she wanted to do just that. She could tell he was distracted and she knew that Mags, was anything but happy these days… she’d often see her sulking around the Gryffindor table, and she could have sworn she had seen her crying one day by one of the coat of armors on the fifth floor while accompanied by her fiery friend, Ruby Clayton. However, she chose not to tell Blake about the last bit of her observations… she didn’t want to cause more trouble.

“Different if you say so,” she said, concerned eyes still lingering on her friend almost as though she didn’t believe a word of what he was saying.

“Tad and I are well,” she replied, with a small smile. “And don’t worry about him not being really chatty these days, he’s quite busy with schoolwork and Head Boy duties as is, so… I mean, sometimes it’s hard for me to get two words out of him! We’re alright though, well more than alright actually – just trying to plan out what we’re going to do once we graduate. It’s not like any of us has a set career plan after Hogwarts. We spoke about moving in together once or twice, but I don’t want to bring the subject up again just yet, say… have you been reading up on the vampire attacks in Britain? They’ve really been giving Tad a bother lately… you and Jack should try to get his mind off the Prophet for a while… I try to myself but I think he still thinks about it in the back of his head when I’m not looking.”
youllbeokay
Feb. 2nd, 2009 03:17 pm (UTC)
Blake stared back at Lanisa after she had spoke up. He couldn’t miss the expression behind her eyes, and really felt the need to carry on the conversation. He needed a suitable cover-up. He wasn’t exactly going to spill that the reason behind the awkwardness surrounding their relationship, was that his girlfriend was pregnant by his best friend… “Different in the sense that…” He paused for a moment. “I don’t normally argue with girls, you know? It feels really strange that it’s suddenly happening so much.” Carry on Blake. This story needs more if it’s gonna be believable. “And we don’t have sex… which is driving me insane, if I might add.”

He seemed a lot better when Lanisa went on to talk about her own relationship with Tad. Blake was happy that their relationship seemed to be going fine right now – A drama-free relationship was something he could only dream of. If he was honest, he was beginning to get a little jealous. He desperately wanted the sort of relationship that his best friends had. No arguments would be a nice change…

He instantly stopped acting like a jealous prat the moment that Lanisa mentioned the vampire attacks. It was hard to ignore them… Blake did often wonder how Tad was coping with it. They’d only talked about it once, and Tad obviously seemed pretty worried. There wasn’t much he could say. The vampires for Tad were kind of like the Death Eaters for Blake – There was always the danger that they would come to Hogwarts. It really was hard to ignore. “I really don’t know what I can say to him.” He answered finally. “Saying ‘try not to worry about it’ is easier said than done, after all. I mean what exactly can we do? He’s gonna be thinking about it any moment that we’re not distracting him, isn’t he?” He was speaking from experience there. If Blake wasn’t distracted by his friends or his girlfriend, he would be thinking about Death Eaters. Or the baby. The Death Eaters seemed a little more inviting to think about, sadly.
jubliantrise
Feb. 2nd, 2009 05:24 pm (UTC)
Lanisa paused for a moment as she listened to her friend speak. “Well Mags Rowley has always been a… vibrant girl,” she commented, speaking from an observation point of view. “Well at least she could get pretty rough during games, seriously I think some of the boys were even afraid of her! Except Jack though – Jack was never afraid… have you watched a match between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor this year at all? Seriously, you could cut the tension in the stadium with a knife… it was quite entertaining to say the least – especially when the losing captain of the two would take a fit.”

She hesitated before addressing the next point Blake had brought up. “Haven’t you and Mags been dating only for a couple of months though?” she asked him. “Maybe she’s not ready to commit herself in that way just yet… choosing to be with someone like that requires a sense of understanding on so many different levels. Tad and I have been dating for over a year now, but we’ve only just decided to take things to the next step because we’re close to one another and we love each other and there was nothing wrong with holding out… at the end of the day, it’s not a race you know?”

She shifted the weight of her book bag over to her other shoulder. “Well maybe if we all try reassuring him then he can perhaps starting believing that Professor Dumbledore won’t let anything else happen to his students,” she said. “He’s got to have faith in something… Blake, it’s not normal for him to be terrified all the time. To be honest, it worries me.”
youllbeokay
Feb. 2nd, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
“Plenty.” Blake responded simply. This wasn’t helping, at all. Despite Lanisa’s good intentions, talking about Jack and Mags in the same conversation rarely felt like good fun any more. Okay, so they were both two of his best friends, but the sad thing was that he found it hard to distract himself from the other things. He was the first one that she had slept with. He was the father of her frigging child… “Yeah, I tend to be on the receiving end of Mags’ anger when she loses against Jack.” Blake finally spoke up again, though he seemed to be amused nonetheless, seeing as a smile was on his face.

“Yeah, but she-” But she slept with Jack when I was kidnapped by Death Eaters was what he wanted to say. Another thing that he wasn’t supposed to be revealing. Well… Mags hadn’t exactly said that he wasn’t allowed to go around blabbing that she had had sex with her Quidditch rival. It was more out of decency, if he was honest. It wouldn’t score him good points with his girlfriend, and hell, who exactly needed to know that, anyway?

The next point that Lanisa had to say caught him completely off guard. Blake instantly turned wide-eyed when Lanisa mentioned her decision with Tad to take their relationship to the next level. “Jesus Christ you two kept that one quiet!” The points she had to back-up why they had only just come to that decision however seemed to have little effect on him. He was close to Mags and they loved each other… Honestly, the only thing that was really getting in the way was that baby! “But seriously Chick, nice!” Blake laughed a little then as he pulled her into a hug. Apparently a congratulations-on-sexing-Tadala hug.

After withdrawing from the hug, he kept hold of Lanisa’s hand and pulled her along into a slow walk. They had been standing there for long enough, and it was only a matter of time until a teacher was going to walk along that corridor and caught the two of them standing there… He’d missed this, when it was just Lanisa and himself. Blake hadn’t really been spending enough time with her lately. Though, it wasn’t just her. His time seemed to be split between one of two things – Either homework, or his girlfriend. “Well, you know as well as I do he needs the least amount of stress that he can get right now… I mean seriously, first there was that whole thing with the Death Eaters, and he’s head boy and we’ve got exams coming up too… He seriously doesn’t need the worries of vampires as well, you’re right Chick…” A slight pause. “But he seriously doesn’t think that this place would’ve done up the security since the Death Eaters?” Yeah, well neither did Blake really. He was paranoid of Death Eaters coming back, so he didn’t blame Tad for being paranoid about the vampires either. Anything could happen at this school, and that had been proved how easily Blake had been snatched out of school at the beginning of the school year.
jubliantrise
Feb. 2nd, 2009 09:12 pm (UTC)
Lanisa couldn’t help but laugh when Blake told her that he was often coerced into being Mags’ punching bag whenever Gryffindor did lose a match. “I wonder who might be on the receiving end for Jack’s losses though,” she mused thoughtfully. “You don’t suppose he… well, actually talks to that man-eating spider hat of his? Actually it’s not that hard to imagine him crying to the thing whenever Ravenclaw pulls short during a game… I am slightly concerned with his sanity sometimes.” She shot him a quizzical look when he tried interrupting her. “But she what?”

She was caught completely off-guard however when Blake suddenly pulled her into a bear-like embrace that she even stumbled forward. “W-well I thought Tad might have told you already,” she admitted, but was unable to conceal the smile emerged on her face over the fact that Tad had purposely chosen to keep quiet about what they had done. That to her, demonstrated the signs of respect that her boyfriend obviously had for her. “Maybe you should congratulate him in that case too… or on second thought, don’t do that, he might get embarrassed… especially if you tell Jack!”

She walked silently beside him as he spoke about Tad. Admittedly, she had missed hanging around with her friend too. The inseparable four had been wrenched apart by coursework and looming exams, and it was a real challenge these days to just have a meal all together. Her boyfriend was preoccupied with his endless list of responsibilities, Blake had Mags now and Jack was… well Jack. “And he’s getting tutored by Blair now too, for Charms,” she added to the ever amount of stress her and Blake were noticing in their friend. “Well, he never said that, but I just get that impression from him… he won’t even let a Prefect supervise alone now, he has to pair up everyone and gives himself more work than is necessary. I mean… surely the teachers are keeping a better eye on their students nowadays.”
youllbeokay
Feb. 2nd, 2009 10:34 pm (UTC)
“I don’t think I’m ready to even begin to consider who he vents to… Seriously, nobody out there can match Jack’s crazy. But really… I wouldn’t be surprised if it was man-eating spider hat… He treats that bloody thing like it’s his own child!” Greaaaat, thoughts going straight back to the baby again. It was even worse when Lanisa questioned what Blake was going to say beforehand when he cut himself off… There really was no way of escaping this. But he could trust Lanisa not to say anything about a topic such as this. “She’s already had sex, so it’s not a case of not being ready I guess… and we almost came close once, way before we were going out, so…” Okay, he definitely wasn’t going into that any further. It was embarrassing enough the first time, other people did not need to know the reason behind why they stopped. “Anyway I don’t think Jack knows that I know he slept with her so… Let’s just not say anything about this to anyone else.”

“Hell no Chick, he tells me hardly anything these days.” Sometimes it seemed like Tad had gone back to being as quiet as he was before they were even friends. Blake felt distant… but that wasn’t really Tad’s fault, was it? It wasn’t Tad’s fault that Blake seemed to be spending every waking moment with Mags Rowley… “First thing I’m doing tomorrow morning though… Imagine him waking up to ‘OH MY GOD TAD YOU’RE NOT A VIRGIN ANY MORE YAY PARTY TIME’, he’ll be bloody mortified!” This was obviously all the more reason to greet Tad with said wake up call.

“It’s good that he’s being careful and all, but… He really needs to loosen up a little, doesn’t he?” He sighed. With no particularly useful ideas for helping Tad wind down, there was only really one thing that he could think of. “Hey maybe the four of us should go sit in the tree sometime soon… We haven’t done that in bloody ages, must have been last year at least… We really need a day just to relax and talk like we used to, you know?”
jubliantrise
Feb. 2nd, 2009 11:00 pm (UTC)
Lanisa looked back twice at Blake, a puzzled expression evident on her face. “Well then who did she-” she began, but had her question answered almost immediately when Blake continued talking. Well that explained things now… except no- it actually complicated everything all the more! As her friend had already stated, it wasn’t an issue of not being ready if Mags had already engaged in this sort of thing before, and she seemed to like Blake enough, unless… “Say Blake, who was the one who broke it off between the two of them? Did Mags break up with Jack or was it the other way around?”

“Oh no Blake, he’ll be furious with me for telling you now!” she said with a laugh, only imagining what sort of shenanigans Tad was going to wake up to coming morning. “Just, hold off till tomorrow at least, don’t wake him up now or he’ll have you disintegrated… and you know I’m right!” She inclined her head into a nod when he suggested that the four of them meet up under the tree sometime again soon.

“Sure that sounds lovely, providing the weather holds up,” she reminded him. “But it’d be quite nice to forget about essays and exams for one day… anyway, it’s not like we’re going to have much time to all be together after graduation – we all live so far apart from one another.”
youllbeokay
Feb. 2nd, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)
Blake was a little unsure about keeping this conversation going. He was pretty hesitant at starting it up in the first place, and now Lanisa was way too interested in it… This hadn’t been one of his better plans. “Uh… Jack broke up with her?” He answered, now choosing that he was going to give as little information about this topic for as long as he was talking with Lanisa. He really did not feel comfortable now.

“I wouldn’t wake him up in the middle of the night, I’m not that mean…” That was a total lie. He would do that sort of thing but as they’d got older, Blake kinda feared for his life now. Waking up Tad was baaaaaad. “Tomorrow morning is gonna be bloody fun though, seriously… He’s gonna kill me, I swear.”

“Yeah, we need all the time together we can get really.” He agreed. As much as he didn’t want to sound like a sap, when they had all left this place, not being able to see his friends every day of the year was going to be a real downer. It wasn’t going to be the same.
jubliantrise
Feb. 3rd, 2009 05:21 pm (UTC)
And so came the sickening revelation that Lanisa had hoped wouldn’t be true for poor Blake. She didn’t know for certain however, these were merely speculations on her part, but it still seemed obvious to her nonetheless. She wouldn’t voice out what she thought all this meant though, not now not ever. Blake had been through enough as it was in the past, what with the whole Abby thing, and she could vividly recall how upset he had gotten over it all. He finally deserved some happiness with Mags now, and she wasn’t going to ruin everything over a few doubts she was assuming were maybe true. And so, she decided to drop the topic completely and continue with whatever else they were addressing in their conversation.

“Talk it over with Tad tomorrow morning when you pounce him,” Lanisa suggested as she turned to face her friend. “Well, my common room’s this way, so I will see you later then? Go off and get some sleep or you’ll look a sight at breakfast!” She gave Blake a quick hug before setting down towards the Hufflepuff entrance.
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