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Jan. 8th, 2009

Log Title: All I can say is you save me
Location: Gryffindor Common Room
Characters Involved: Blake Parker (youllbeokay ) and Mags Rowley (peacelovechaser )
Summary of Log: Blake really needs to apologise to Mags!
Rating: PG, maybe?

If he was honest, Blake was feeling pretty weird lately, about a lot of things. His main concern, was of course, his girlfriend. Her behaviour was really strange. Some days, Mags could be really affectionate and cuddly - That's what Blake liked, although it seemed to become a little bit of a rarity these days, because of his girlfriend's constant mood swings. Mags was really snappy now, she'd flip at the smallest thing and bite Blake's head off with no thought of the consequences. Hell, she'd made it quite clear that she hated him the other day, then claimed it was down to being angry... but that wasn't something you just threw around with no thought about it, was it? And what was with the panicy outburst that Mags had posted on the network a while back? It wasn't something that he particularly wanted to bring up, but the truth behind the post had been flitting about Blake's mind ever since he'd read it. He was sure as hell it wasn't down to a cat dieing at all, it needed to be way more serious than that... But he couldn't risk having Mags turn on him again. He didn't want to have to face being told he was hated a second time within a week.

The second thing that Blake was concerned about was the whole situation with the Death Eaters that had plagued the school at the end of last year. The most that he knew, was that he was the one who had committed the kidnappings... but if that had been the case, then why was there a complete gap in his mind? He had absolutely no memory of what he had done throughout those months, and he was feeling way too guilty to ask the victims that had been in that cell what had happened to them. Hell, most of them refused to talk to him in the first place. Getting information out of them would be one hell of a task, considering virtually all of them seemed to hate him now. He wanted to know why he had even agreed to the kidnappings in the first place... surely his free will would stop him from ever agreeing to putting his fellow students in danger? Especially Lanisa and Abby. The entire idea of the Death Eaters had been a constant worry for Blake following their rescue from the hell-hole. What was to say the whole thing couldn't happen all over again? As far as he knew there had been little-to-no increase in security around Hogwarts...

Still. Death Eaters could wait until another day, because this moment was being dedicated to his girlfriend. Through one moment of weakness, he had turned on her and Blake Parker felt awful for that. He didn't care that Mags appeared to be getting away with treating him however the hell she wanted - Blake had already made it quite clear that he wasn't going to live without her, so that included being treated badly at the worst of times. And it was true that the Gryffindor Common Room was pretty quiet right now. Deserted, even. Taking his place on one of the comfy sofas, Blake stared down into the fire as he waited for his girlfriend to turn up. This quiet atmosphere was good. It could mean either a full-blown shouting match with no audience... or something else. He hoped for the something else, in all honesty. He was craving attention so badly now.


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Jan. 8th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)
Meanwhile, Mags was scrambling upstairs in a desperate attempt to make herself look somewhat presentable and not like she had spent the past three days with her head down a toilet. The more this pregnancy progressed, the worse everything got, and as a result, her nerves were undergoing a rather horrendous whiplash effect. She always felt sick and she had hacked up so many dinners that she knew the toilet’s minute details by heart. Well, maybe that was partly her fault – she didn’t have to have those fourth helpings of mashed potatoes or squirt mustard on everything she was eating for that matter. But she just felt so hungry all the time; it was beyond her control really! Besides, food always tasted good when it went in, it was the after part that always felt icky.

Finally, she stuck her hair back in a ponytail and pulled on a clean shirt before vanishing down the stairwell to meet Blake in the common room. She waved to her boyfriend when she reached the sofa and plopped herself down next to him. “Hiya!” she said, trying to sound cheerful at least despite the fact that she probably sounded tired more than anything. “Guess this ain’t the most romantic spot like, but at least we get to be together, besides-” She turned to look outside. “Don’t think I’d brave the outdoors right now, looks like another storm’s settin’ in… can you believe the snowfall we’ve gotten here? Think the whole world’s turned upside down or something… everything’s gone topsy-turvy lately wouldn’t you say?”
Jan. 8th, 2009 01:25 am (UTC)
In the time it had taken Mags to get ready to meet him, Blake had been scouring the network in an attempt to cure his boredom... but what he'd found really made him wish that he'd left his network parchment in his dorm. The news that his girlfriend was pregnant - by his best friend, no less - had hit Blake hard. What had been merely gossip a few moments before had quickly escalated into truth, and as much as Blake wanted to fool himself, there was no denying what had happened, because it all added up. The mood swings, Mags' constant illness, her withdrawal from the Quidditch team... there was no denying that his girlfriend, Mags Rowley, was going to have a child.

The moment his girlfriend appeared next to him though, Blake discarded the network parchment and turned to Mags with a sort of half-smile on his face. "Hey." Was his simple reply, before Blake moved in to give Mags a gentle kiss on the lips. He'd discover later if that was the last kiss he'd ever share with Mags Rowley. As she went on to babble about random nothings, his mind was still half-concentrating on the news that he'd just discovered, because hell, that was Goddamn hard to forget. Her last comment was a gateway to the topic of her pregnancy. It was now, or forever force himself to pretend he didn't know about it... and Blake couldn't go through with that.

"Yeah, I would actually." He commented, slipping his arm around his girlfriend to rest his hand on her stomach. "Here's the thing..." A deep breath, and a sigh. "You slept with Jack, didn't you? ...And you're pregnant, right?" He shuffled awkwardly a little, though not loosening his grip around Mags. "I mean I'm not angry or anything but... I guess I'm a little sad that you felt like you couldn't tell me, you know?"
Jan. 8th, 2009 03:50 am (UTC)
The amused look on Mags’ face sort of hovered there for a second, even after what Blake had said, almost as though she hadn’t heard him right. Finally though, her expression slowly melted away and froze into one of fright mingled in with bitter disappointment. She didn’t address him straight away, but suddenly felt very self-conscious of his hand resting on her mid-region and she quickly removed it from its place on her stomach. Her hair curtained her face from view, but she could still feel it burning with shame. She started to feel sick again, but she was fairly certain that it wasn’t the baby acting up this time. Ruby’s words returned to her again, stinging her as she recalled what her best friend had told her the day she had found out about her and Jack. What, already?! Dude, what’s he putting in your drinks? Had she really allowed herself to be that careless?

“How did you want me tellin’ you exactly Blake?” she asked him, her head still cast down. “How could I tell ya somethin’ like that when I was still gettin’ used to the idea myself like… couldn’t even bring myself around to the concept. Blake… I’m sixteen years old- I can’t be someone’s mum, least of all when I can barely take care of myself properly… I’m not even outta school yet and I’m gonna have a baby? That’s stupidity right there if I didn’t know any better… I’m so stupid Blake… like honestly, can’t say I even knew what I was doin’… was my first time n’ every thin’ n’ now I gotta prepare for a kid… I mean…” Her voice trailed off as she choked up over her own words.

She shook her head and finally raised her eyes so that they could be leveled with Blake’s. “This wasn’t meant to happen… but I gotta live with it now,” she concluded finally. “Gotta deal with whatever comes my way and if that means you leavin’ me, which I can understand- I mean, I am bringin’ loads of baggage with me, well… I’ll try to live with that too.”
Jan. 8th, 2009 10:47 am (UTC)
In all honesty the reaction he got from Mags definitely wasn't what Blake had been expecting. With the way she had been acting lately, he'd been pretty confident that she would have passed the comment off by starting up an all out war against him, purely through anger at him for finding out. She had a point though - Breaking this sort of news to somebody wasn't exactly an easy deal... And really, he couldn't have any sort of reaction to this. He'd never been through an experience on a level like this one and probably never would, so what advice or comfort could Blake offer anyway?

He stared at her in disbelief when she finished. He had no clue where Mags had got this idea from - the belief that Blake would be abandoning her now that she was pregnant. He couldn't do that, it wasn't fair. He wouldn't do that. Blake had happily been going out with her for a while now, and he wasn't going to abandon that because of some unexpected news. "I'm not leaving you."He began, replacing his arm around her. "Come on, it's gonna take a lot more to get rid of me. And hey, I loved you before I found out about this, and that's not changed now that I know, either." He offered her a smile, before he leaned closer and kissed her again. "I'm here for you, baby."
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:33 pm (UTC)
Mags’ response to Blake fretted somewhere between relief and confusion. She felt relieved that he still wanted to be with her of course and that he was willing to support her (not that there was much else he could do), but at the same time she was bemused by his rational response. The news she had laid on him was not lightweight by any means, and it seemed strange even that he seemed so cool with the idea that she was having a baby with Jack. Normally, no one tended to fancy the idea of being a teenage parent, but she was fairly certain that no one in their right mind would be thrilled to hear that their girlfriend was pregnant with someone else’s kid.

“Why are ya bein’ so nice to me?” she asked him very seriously. “Ya know couples here tend to break up over lot less than this n’ ya all willin’ to just come along for the ride? This is real Blake I mean… I don’t get ya… like I’ll be honest with ya, I’d have dumped ya if you had knocked up some other girl behind my back sort o’ speakin’. I… well I guess I don’t really understand where all this is comin’ from… and you can say that it’s ‘cause you love me or somethin’ like that- but I don’t know… ya real weird sometimes Blakey.”

She stared down at her hands before she said the following. “You can’t tell Jack about this either…” she said finally.
Jan. 8th, 2009 08:41 pm (UTC)
He stared at Mags for a moment, seemingly questioning why it seemed like she was telling him off for wanting to stay with her through this. What she was saying was truth - Something really trivial could break up a pair with ease inside these walls... something as heavy as this could rip people apart! "I guess..." Blake stroked her arm up and down a couple of times before finally giving her a straight answer. "I don't want you to feel like you're alone, you know? I mean I know you've got Ruby but..." He swallowed hard. Now that he was thinking this over, this was a pretty scary prospect... and if he was scared by this situation, he couldn't even begin to try and figure out how Mags was feeling right now. He had nothing to compare to this...

"I think you need as many people to turn to that you can get." Blake finally added. It was pretty obvious that Mags wasn't willing to let this news become the latest string of gossip being passed around the school, considering how long it had taken her to tell her own boyfriend. "And hell, if I broke up with you now, I'm being an awful boyfriend... Breaking up with you when you need people most? That's just heartless."

He chose to ignore that comment about the situation where she would have broken up with him. "We've been through a lot, you and me. We managed to get through it all..." Blake smoothed back Mags' hair, in a pause, somehow trying to encourage her to feel comfortable enough to mention anything else to him whilst she was in a good mood. "For all we know this could just be another thing we have to face together." He was offered an escape out of that topic of conversation when Mags brought up Jack. It was a pretty touchy subject, he had to agree. If Jack found out about Mags' pregnancy, he'd probably drop the whole opportunity with uni that he'd only just been offered. They couldn't have that... Hell no. "Jack doesn't need to know anything." Blake whispered, sealing his promise by kissing Mags' head.
Jan. 8th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
Mags nodded vacantly when he mentioned that she still had Ruby here to lean on for support. “My sister knows too like, I wrote her,” she told him. “Haven’t told the ‘rents yet, but I don’t think it should be too much of a bother for them… they’re… well I doubt they’d be anythin’ but happy about bringin’ new life into this world as Ruby put it… I was more worried about tellin’ Keira but she’s been unusually supportive of me. Like she’s gonna come down next weekend to take me to a doctor ‘cause she doesn’t trust the hospital wing too well. I know it’s daft, but she says I need to have all these tests done by a real baby doctor or whatever.”

She seemed somewhat relieved when Blake reassured her that her secret would remain safe with him. “I want him to go to university, to carry on as he had planned to do n’ everythin’… Blake, he’s real smart and he deserves the chance to go on with his life and make the best of it,” she explained. “I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I took that away from him… this isn’t the life he planned n’ it’s neither mine either like… I think I’m gonna give the baby up. Like for adoption n’ all… Keira says that really good families pick a kid to raise here in the UK n’ they have happy lives together. I don’t wanna screw up two lives if both can be sent off and live happily apart.”

Mags took hold of Blake’s hand, struggling to keep her emotions down. “Ya know, it probably doesn’t mean much now or anythin’ but I’m really sorry for draggin’ you into this Blake, ya don’t really deserve this and I’m not askin’ you to stay with me either, ya entitled to your own life, I mean hell, you’re graduatin’ in June n’ all… look you know I can take care of myself Blake… n’ I want you to be able to live your life as well, don’t turn me into a charity case please,” she pleaded with him.
Jan. 8th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
"Your sister's good to you, that's for sure." Blake agreed, a smile finally appearing on his face, although small. He had to admit that he'd been worried about how she was going to break the news to her own family. It was true that he didn't really know that much about them - But the fact that Mags' sister had been acting so supportive for his girlfriend in her time of need was enough to stop him from feeling so concerned.

"He's going to uni babe, don't worry." He reassured her after she expressed her worries about Jack's future. "Jack won't know anything that's going on, I promise you that." This promise was the least he could do for Mags right now. Blake had had his fair share of acting up through their relationship, so he needed to make her feel proud somehow... and if it meant keeping a secret from his best mate - and a bloody huge one at that - then that was what was going to happen. He wasn't sure on the adoption front though, but that really wasn't down to Blake to make that decision at all. And besides, what other choice did Mags have? He didn't really want to put ideas of future regret in Mags' head now, and seeing as she seemed so intent on giving up the child, he definitely wasn't going to drive that idea out of her mind. "I think it's a really good idea," Blake lied. "I mean, the kid's life is gonna be a lot better being adopted rather than having a sixteen year old bring it up right? You're making a mature decision about this... and I'm really proud of you for that." He brushed his free hand down the side of Mags' face lightly.

Though, Blake eyed her suspiciously as she appeared to be pleading him to let her go. "What does it take to get through to you?" Another small smile appeared on his face then. "You're my life now. You're my future... You're my everything." He leaned in close, though stopped just before he was about to kiss her. "So if I'm entitled to my own life... Then just accept it Rowley, you're not getting rid of Blake Parker."
Jan. 8th, 2009 10:09 pm (UTC)
Mags laughed at the remark he made about her sister. “Yeah she’s nice now, but she ain’t that nice to me on a normal basis!” she said. “But I guess she is… I mean, if she’s willin’ to go through all that trouble over me, she must care deep down inside that black heart of hers. Okay… maybe that sounded a wee bit harsh but she is a lawyer after all! I already came to the conclusion that she doesn’t even have a soul or anythin’!” Or maybe it was just Keira’s motherly instincts taking a hold of her, after all, she had been somewhat of a parental figure in Mags’ life throughout her childhood.

“Ha yeah, any kid would be better off without me as their mother,” she agreed. “I think I’d well be crap at being a mum to be honest, I mean… changin’ diapers n’ all? Woah like no… this baby was meant for someone else- maybe a family that wasn’t lucky enough to be able to have kids and they could raise this one as their own and shower it with gifts and give it a way better life than I could ever dream of giving… you’re right ya know, what sort of stability could a sixteen-year-old offer a tiny baby?”

Mags seemed somewhat taken aback when Blake suddenly pressed his certainty for wanting to be with her, but she quickly molded a smile for him. “Ya too good for me… you know that?” she said softly. “And I love ya you bloody knucklehead... you know that too? I really do… you’re… well, I don’t know how to say it, you’re just very good to me and it would be a real shame not to be with ya I figure.”
Jan. 8th, 2009 10:56 pm (UTC)
Blake laughed off Mags' comments about her sister, as a hint of his mood lightening a little, before moving on. There wasn't really a lot he could say in her situation... He was a bloke after all. "I think any kid our age would be crap at being parents, not just you. There's a reason this sort of thing is left until later life!" The smile didn't cease as Mags went on though. "I'm really glad you thought this through though, it's a really good thing you're doing you know?"

A larger smile than before crossed Blake the moment Mags told him those three words. That was what he lived for. These moments where she wasn't in a bad mood with him, and wasn't acting as if he was a complete bastard... This was what Blake Parker loved in his life. "And I love you too, beautiful... I really do." Finally, he closed the remaining gap between them as he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and kissed her. He wasn't pulling away this time... not for a long while yet.
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