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Log Title: I don't want the world to see me
Location: Gryffindor Common Room
Characters Involved: Blake Parker (youllbeokay ) and... anyone who is up late!
Summary of Log: Blake can't sleep.
Rating: G

It was a matter of time before the whole truth about the situation with the Death Eaters got around the school. Even though he hadn't publically announced it on the school network Blake Parker knew that it was a matter of days before the whole school knew the truth... They would all know he was the one who had carried out the kidnappings... and it was incredibly likely that each and every person would be looking down on him for that. There were few people who knew... The victims themselves, Tad, Jack... and Mags. And who was expected to release the secret upon the school? Well, Abby Jay was the most likely candidate, he supposed. Anything to get back at her ex-boyfriend... Or maybe even Mags... She didn't seem to care for him much anymore.

Mags was a problem. Maybe she was the reason entirely why he couldn't sleep tonight. He knew realistically that she wouldn't come running back to him the moment that he got back to Hogwarts, but Blake couldn't help wanting that. She was still perfectly happy in the arms of his best friend, and that didn't seem to be ending any time soon. It was no secret that Blake was jealous, either... and despite the fact that he wanted her back so badly, he didn't want to see her upset or angry. And fighting with Jack for her attention... That was exactly what would make Mags upset.

And what about Jack, anyway? Okay fine, so Blake's best mate had stolen his girlfriend... Did Jack feel sorry for Mags at the time because Blake had supposedly run off with an ex? As much as he wanted to act like he was alright with them being together, he couldn't stop himself from feeling all this jealousy. It was fact that Blake Parker was in love with Mags Rowley now, and he couldn't change that. He couldn't face them being together because of those feelings... Those stupid feelings that she refused to return to him.

All thoughts aside, he couldn't sleep. Maybe more like he didn't want to sleep. Was it fear that did that? Though not wanting to admit it, Blake was still incredibly scared that the Death Eaters would come back for him. They'd taken him out of school so easily the first time... what was to say that they couldn't do that to him again? There was only so much protection this school could give... and the Death Eaters proved how easily that security could be breached the first time.

It was most definitely the paranoia that was keeping him up. Perhaps with a little bit of heart break mixed in, too.

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
ratherjaded
Dec. 12th, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
Considering he'd been so keen to get some sleep after getting back from their epic rescue mission, Tad had found it difficult. He guessed it was just a lot of stuff to get used to in the space of a day or so and there was a lot to think about now as a result. Dumbledore hadn't been happy with Blair and him for rushing into the effort without speaking with him first. Apparently Dumbledore had been setting a much safer, more subtle plan into action that was probably much more failsafe than running headlong into the center of the action, before the two of them had vanished themselves. However, he had finished by expressing his happiness that everyone was safe, and a rather terrifyingly stern warning to speak to him next time they felt like going off on an epic adventure.

For some reason his mind continued to play horrifying scenarios of what could have happened to Blake, Abby and Lanisa had things gone wrong. He didn't know why, they were safe now and those thoughts should have left him alone by now. He supposed it was just a sort of restlessness that came after any ordeal and was probably normal. The holidays were coming anyway and he'd have plenty of time to wind down from it. And he couldn't imagine how much more there was to think about for people like Blake-

He turned over to see if Blake was asleep in the next bed, only to realise that the curtains were open and Blake's bed was empty. He looked at it for a moment, frowning slightly, before he got to his feet and made his way silently out of the dorm and down the stairs to the common room. Maybe Blake wanted to be alone or maybe he didn't, but he knew Blake was blunt enough to tell him what he wanted.

As expected, he saw Blake sitting alone in the dark common room. "Not surprised you can't sleep, actually," he said in a half-whisper, not really wanting to attract any more attention and bring other students down to the common room too. He went over to the armchairs and sat on it cross-legged, looking at the cold fireplace with little interest. "How're you doing?"
youllbeokay
Dec. 12th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
Blake only looked up when he heard somebody else's voice pierce through the silence. He managed to smile at the sight of Tad - In all honesty he didn't know whether he could bear to talk to anybody outside his close circle of friends, right now. Even talking to Mags made him feel a bit crap, if he was honest. The fact that she didn't seem to have any nice words for him didn't seem to help.

He paused before answering Tad's question though. "I'm... not good at all." Blake answered slowly. "I'm paranoid, and I'm lonely." Straight to the point. Though, he didn't really want to talk about the paranoid part. Somehow, Blake thought that Tad probably didn't want to talk about it either. Death Eaters and near-death situations wasn't something that Blake wanted to think about for a good long while... though it was pretty inevitable that the topic would be one of the only things on his mind for a good few weeks yet. Besides, it was their first night back... They could hold off the conversation for a while yet.

"Did you know Jack and Mags are going out?"
ratherjaded
Dec. 12th, 2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
Tad ragarded Blake thoughtfully for a moment. "Yeah, kidnapping and near-death'll do that to you, I guess," he said, sort of noticing that Blake wanted to change the subject but reluctant to do so himself. He knew Blake was going to let it play on his mind if he didn't talk it out and he would soon start to see Death Eaters in everyone. But maybe he should give it a rest for tonight. Blake hadn't been living a 'normal' life for over a month. Maybe he should just have a normal conversation with him for now.

"I figured something was going on," he replied with a small shrug. "You know, for some reason without you and Lanisa around, Jack and I didn't talk as much as we usually do. I thought that was kind of weird since we're friends until I realised he was spending a lot of time with Rowley." He shifted round in the chair so he could see Blake without breaking his neck. "I'm sorry, mate. Probably wasn't Jack's best move. I'm thinking he wasn't out to get you with that or anything, but that doesn't change the fact that he's seeing Rowley now... listen, mate. I know it's not particularly comforting right now, but you've always got me, you know? Promise I won't run off with another guy. I'm very faithful."
youllbeokay
Dec. 12th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
Blake listened as Tad went on, sort of taking in what he was saying but at the same time not really wanting to listen. What Tad was saying wasn't really helpful at all... and with the mood he was in right now, Blake was just feeling even more scared by what his mate was saying. That doesn't change the fact that he's seeing Rowley now. What if they never broke up? What if Mags fell in love with Jack instead and she never gave her and Blake another chance? What if...

Even a joke like that couldn't help to bring a smile to Blake's face. He refused to look at Tad as he talked - Perhaps out of embarassment, maybe because he was ashamed. "When I saw her with Jack in Hogsmeade..." He started, looking at the flickering fire without blinking his eyes once. "I told Mags that I loved her." Blake looked over to Tad then, his eyes clearly showing the same hurt that he'd felt back then. A heavy sigh before he spoke again. "And she said I was lieing. She said I was lieing mate, what the hell am I supposed to say to her after that?"
peacelovechaser
Dec. 13th, 2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
It was really late and Mags was lucky that she hadn’t been caught in the hallways by a Prefect, or worse by Filch, the greasy caretaker. Her and Jack had split hours ago, but for some reason, she hadn’t felt compelled to return to the common room just yet. Truthfully, she was actually pretty sad that the two had broken up, mainly because she had actually started to have feelings for him – but she knew that the two could never be an item, not while she was still in love with Blake at least. And Blake… he was another issue entirely. She had tried to take into consideration what Jack had told her, but honestly, she didn’t think that Blake would ever take her back. She could still picture the look on his face when he had seen her with his best friend, locked in a kiss… and then after when she had told him that he was a liar.

Maybe she needed to sleep on it… yeah, it’s not like anyone would be hanging around the common room at this time of night anyway. She had been aimlessly walking around the dark grounds for hours and she actually felt tired. Besides, she was still in her uniform and it was starting to get annoying. Her woolly jumper was making her skin feel itchy. She mumbled the password to the Fat Lady who gave her a scrutinizing look as she swung the portrait open and allowed the student to walk in. Normally, Mags would have a retort for the old cow and then the Fat Lady would do her thing and try to shut the portrait on Mags as she was in mid-climb, but she didn’t feel like arguing with some stupid painting tonight.

As she sauntered into the common room, she noticed that yes it was preoccupied, and yes one of those occupants happened to be Blake. Fantastic. Well maybe he wouldn’t notice her… which was highly unlikely, seeing as how Mags was never quiet even when she tried to be! Still, it would be awkward to just walk by and ignore him – that would just make her look like an even bigger bitch! She stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before finally saying, “Hiya Blake.”
ratherjaded
Dec. 14th, 2008 01:43 am (UTC)
Tad was a little out of his depth. Women were hardly his area of expertise. His area of expertise was emoing in a corner and shooting caustic barbs at friends and enemies alike. It wasn't how to deal with love triangles and women and drama (oh my!). Finally he sighed and resigned himself to the fact that he had no idea.

"I dunno, mate... I guess it's just hard, you know? It's a pretty outlandish story when you never had a clue about it before. I think if I hadn't heard it from Alexis already I'd have had a hard time believing any of it myself. Blair didn't believe me for ages after I tried to tell her. And that would've... you know, caused her a lot of confusion after she'd finally accepted you'd left and moved on herself. Maybe it was just easier that w-"

He paused when the portrait hole opened. Oh. Oh wow. Awkward.

"You know what, though? I'm really tired. It's been a hell of a day and I think I'm just gonna head upstairs and go to sleep for a few hours or something, alright?" He got to his feet and made his way up the boys' staircase. "See you later!"
youllbeokay
Dec. 14th, 2008 02:06 am (UTC)
The last thing that Blake had wanted was for someone to appear through the portrait hole and tell him and Tad to go and get some sleep. But when said person made themself known, he felt slightly... happy that his talk with his best mate had been interrupted. He was even happier when she actually decided to talk to him. It was only a matter of time before he ran into Mags Rowley again...

Then they were left alone. This was awkward, but at the same time, it was good. "Hey." Was his simple answer as he sat up, making some room for Mags on the sofa next to him. The silence returned between them, and despite the fact that he was terrified of another rejection, Blake Parker just did not care. "Mags..." He didn't care that she was with Jack... He didn't care that she wasn't available, he was going to get Mags back.

"I need you."
peacelovechaser
Dec. 14th, 2008 02:36 am (UTC)
Mags eyed Tad somewhat anxiously as he suddenly got up and almost bolted from the room. Even he knew that this was going to be bad. Needless to say, she was extremely surprised with what words actually came out of his mouth. Had she just dreamed it or he had said those things for real? She didn’t respond right away, but instead took the opportunity to sit in the empty armchair Tad had left behind – the couch was still too close a proximity just yet.

“Yeah well Blake ya need alotta things from what I can tell,” she commented, fiddling with a loose piece of thread on her jumper. She was going to yank it out and make a hole - she just knew it. “Like maybe a good shower for starters, and some sleep and try having some food too ya? I’m sure you’re gonna feel better once that’s all settled and anyway if you meant you needed just me, well mate you’re being a tad bit dramatic about it.”

She looked up at him then. “Jack broke up with me ‘cause he figured it was the right thing to do now that you were back and you hadn’t been lyin’…” she continued. “And according to him and his big stupid Irish accent – love, you and I wouldn’t’ve happened if Blake hadn’t left… and once I actually understood what the hell he was sayin’, I realized he was right.”
youllbeokay
Dec. 14th, 2008 03:01 am (UTC)
The moment conversation ensued, Blake felt that it was more like getting a lecture on something he'd done wrong than sure-let's-get-back-together-because-I-actually-love-you-too. There was rejection number one. His eyes wandered away from her slowly as her rant continued, finally resting on the floor in front of them both. His plan to get back his ex-girlfriend didn't seem to be going too well, so far.

And then Jack was brought into the conversation. Brilliant. Though, it was a definite surprise when she mentioned that Mags & Jack were no more. He hadn't expected that... Hadn't seen it coming, at all. Before he knew it, his eyes were back on Mags, and that burning temptation to take her back was more powerful than ever. This was his chance.

"You know I've meant every word I ever said to you, right?" He started, getting up off the sofa and standing in front of his now ex-girlfriend. "I want you back," he started, running his hand up her cheek. "I'm so in love with you Mags, and I can't live without you..." He leaned closer to her, giving her a small kiss, though seemingly having no intention to take it further. "And right now, you can either push me away or take me back... It's down to you to make that choice."
peacelovechaser
Dec. 14th, 2008 04:04 am (UTC)
Mags glared at Blake accusingly. “I wasn’t finished talkin’ like!” she snapped, in a huff now. “Look, I was gonna add that Jack also said that I was in love with ya, and at first I said he was full of it, but then I realized that the bloody leprechaun was right! And maybe I’m stupid and everythin’ but I can’t help feelin’ like-” she immediately stopped talking when she felt Blake’s hand grazing her cheek. Oh now he was asking for it! Blake always had this bad habit of touching her without her permission and she had gotten really annoyed of that. Maybe it was okay with other girls, but no one treated Mags like a little girl! It’s not like she just blatantly groped people!

“Blake whaddya-” her protests were muffled by a kiss, and now Mags was no longer a happy camper. She was trying to get a point across here without any interruptions! Fuming, she stood up on the armchair so that she could be taller, but unfortunately even with the extra push, she was still within Blake’s height area and- was he still an inch taller than her?!

“Listen Blake, and no more kisses or touchin’ till I’m finished k?” she said very seriously. “First of all, you can leave without me or else I’m goin’ to have some very worryin’ thoughts if I one day get chucked off my broom in Quidditch and then see you jump off the stands or somethin’ after me…” She paused. “Secondly, I… I… well, I love ya too you great big bastard that’s why I’m here n’ that’s why you’re here… so I… I don’t see what all the fuss is about… Christ… I really hate this drama- I blame this school or some greater source out there that are controllin’ our every moves n’ are tryin’ to make us miserable for their own sick twisted pleasures! Like, sod off already!”
youllbeokay
Dec. 14th, 2008 10:08 am (UTC)
Blake backed off a little when Mags seemed so annoyed following their kiss. He knew not to test her temper too much. There was only so far Mags could go without snapping completely, and they seemed to be approaching that point quicker and quicker! Still, he was going to conform to what was asked of him.

Her love confession had actually come as a shock. With the way that she'd been treating him lately, Mags certainly hadn't been giving off that impression! Blake didn't know what to do. As much as he wanted to kiss her again and again, he knew the moment he started that he'd get a swift knock around the head from her. Not really something he wanted to willingly put himself up for...

"So stop letting yourself be miserable Mags..." He said, locking his hand with hers. "Us being together, we're the reason why you and Jack broke up right? How dya think he'd feel if you walked away from me now? You and I both know that this is exactly what we want, so let's stop putting it off and just give in..." He paused. "Please Mags..."
peacelovechaser
Dec. 16th, 2008 10:24 pm (UTC)
Mags sighed heavily, stressing the point that she was getting impatient with Blake. “Are ya deaf or just stupid? What have I been sayin’ for the past five minutes? Yeah like, I said we could get together n’ all so I basically agreed to be your girlfriend Blake Parker,” she told him bluntly, as if she was giving him a scolding at the same time. “So ya can stop wallowing in your own self pity ‘cause you got me k? You bloody well got me and no matter what I say or do, I still can’t ya out of my head Blake.”

She couldn’t contain her excitement much longer as a smile slowly appeared on her features. Blake still loved her after everything that had happened between them, he still wanted her regardless of the fact that she had struck it up with his best friend after his disappearance. No, none of that really made a difference because he still wanted her, and she knew that she darn well wanted him too!

Realizing she might have scared him off the idea of kissing her forever with all the ensued slaps that had followed any attempts he had tried pulling in the past, she laughed and said, “Oh here…” before kissing him herself.
youllbeokay
Dec. 16th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
"...Oh." Blake replied stupidly, not having understood that he'd completely misread what Mags had been saying to him two seconds beforehand. Nevertheless, his own face mirrored his girlfriend's smile when he realised what he'd finally got. Mags was finally his again.

He may have appeared reluctant to get close to her again for a few moments, but when Mags offered him that invitation through a kiss, it was pretty obvious that Blake Parker did not need to be told twice. He lifted her from the armchair she was currently stood on as they were still locked in their kiss, before sitting back on the sofa and placing Mags in his lap. They could hold off sleep a little while longer.
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